Recovery and You!

This morning I want to talk about Recovery and how important it is. When I say the word "recovery" many people instantly assume I mean "cured". Which I don't mean.  When I talk about recovery, I am referring to being able to get out of bed everyday and actually live a near as normal life as I can. I still have to get up and take my medication.

I have a mental illness, I know I will never be 100% cured as I have a brain disorder, but I can work around it and do anything I choose to do.  One thing you always want to remember is what works for someone else may not work for you but you want to keep trying new things till you do find what works for you.

For me it was: self-help work, peer support, and changing my way of living.

Self-Help Work:

I began enrolling in programs that required me to do my own work. Some examples of this are WRAP (wellness recovery action planning), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) lots of reading, changing my thinking habits from always being negative to learning ho to be positive, and going to school plus holding down a full-time job.

Now there is a lot of self-help information out there so take a minute to find what works for you and go from there. But give it more than just a minute. After a week if it doesn't work for you, than move on to what does work for you.

Peer Support:

I didn't have anyone in my life who could offer me this, so I hunted it down on my own. After taking the class I found a job in Peer Support and low and behold did I not only help my clients, but it helped me as well.  By me doing this job I was able to see the bigger picture out there and became the Assistant Director for the NC peer support Association (NCAPS), which now allows me to reach hundreds of people. So once I started learning how to take care of myself, I never stopped learning and I don't regret it for one moment.

Peer Support is not available in all area, so if you can't find a group, than start your own. Peer support does help you, even if you think it doesn't.

Changing my way of living:

By changing things in my life that do me no good, to things that do me good helped immensely. Every time I would start to think negative thoughts I would replace them with positive thoughts instead. That slowly turned my thinking around and before I knew it I was talking positive, thinking positive, and eventually doing positive things with my life. Changing also included what I listened too, and what I watched. By doing those two things I took all the negative out of my life and could concentrate on the positive instead. I also started taking vitamins, exercising, and eating healthier, all this combined added a great influence in my life.

Don't get me wrong, nothing is 100% perfect, but it is better than what it once was when I had no ambition, dreams, or desire to do anything. I now chose to do what I want, when I want too. So whats stopping you from trying new things in your life?

Gratitude List:

1) I am grateful for my recovery and finding what works for me.
2) I am grateful for the opportunities I have today!
3) I am grateful for being able to teach others how to find their recovery.
4) I am grateful for being able to wake up with a smile on my face and a lighter heart.
5) I am grateful for my puppies who help me smile everyday.

Dear Mental Illness

A letter to my mental illness....

Have I ever told you how much I hate you? Yet I love you for just as many reasons.

Reasons I hate you:

1) You've taken some of my family from me

2) You've helped me ruin relationships in more than one way.

3) you've helped ruin my life in many ways: example, self-harm, theft, jail, and even by messing up in school.

4) You've helped me ruin the lives of many.

5) You've even helped me hold on to relationships that I shouldn't

6) You've help me forget who I am.

The reasons I love you:

1) You've helped me bring back some of my family

2) You've helped me make over 2000 friends in the last 2 years

3) you've taken my life in a whole new direction (Thank You!)

4) You've helped me see that I am not Hopeless and that I am a good person.

5) Thanks to you I have made some great friends in life and experience some amazing relationships

6) You've helped me see where I belong

7) You've helped me see who I am and who I want to be.

8) Because of you I can make someone's life a better place, as well as mine

9) Because of you I can see clearly where I was and where I need to be.

Needless to say, I am doing great where I am now, even with all of your short comings. That being said, there are still 2 people who I want in my world but they aren't, my son and my father. I need their support, yet don't have it, yet I am grateful for this in my life who are my support systems. If your reading this, you know who you are.

To date, I have started school and am almost on to my Junior year while maintaining a 4.0 (who would have ever thought? LOL), I have certificates to teach 5 different classes, and am currently working on 4 more, and will reach my goal of starting a recovery college at the rate I am going and I owe most of it to you my mental illness. Thank you for helping to push me to accomplish these tasks.

Today I am grateful for:

1) My recovery

2) my friends and the many more I will make.

3) My new life.

4) The ability to overcome my fears.

5) My friends going through recovery and them making it...

Being a Peer Support Specialist

A few years back a wonderful job found me, it's called Peer Support. I had no idea what this position entailed nor did I even know how to go about finding this training. Then one day I ran across an advertisement for a class coming up to learn how to be a Peer Specialist, I was taken back.

Now to hunt down the man teaching the class and needless to say I did hunt him down. LOL. There was probably more then 10 calls a day and numerous emails asking to be in his class. It was while waiting to here back from him that I did all the research I could find and knew this was the job for me.

So after 20 plus years in the Restaurant Industry, I gave it up and walked into the unknown. Fear of the unknown is what stops many of us with a mental illness (and even without) from doing anything. But I knew that if I was ever going to get anywhere it was time to jump into the unknown. Jump I did and I am very glad I did as I never knew my life could feel as complete as it does now. Oh sure, there are still some things missing I am sure, however my life now makes sense as to where it didn't before.

For starters, I have learned that I can't nor do I need to save everyone. My dad and I have a very strained relationship. I have called monthly, sent him letters, ran up to Ohio when I heard he had a heart attack and then had to have surgery. If I would have to guess, I can honestly say my dad has depression and therefore has yet to want to come to reality that a child of his has a severe and persistent mental illness, let alone admit he has some form of one. I have tried is all I can say and I realized when I started this job that it is no longer up to me, but up to him. I can try and help, but I can't "fix" him. But yet I still adore my job knowing I can't fix or save everyone.

The position of being a peer support specialist has opened many doors for me: I have started going to college full-time to eventually become a psychologist, I have helped form a State-wide organization called the NC Association of Peer Specialists, started my own recovery education company (Recovery Can Happen), and have been trained in a variety of recovery concepts. Yes, my life seems full, but it's not. I still find the time to work as a Certified Peer Support Specialist, both on my own and for companies.

Yes, it is rewarding!

All to often we hear that people with a severe mental illness can't hold a job, they don't know how wrong they are. This is the perfect job. We get to teach people ways to help with their lives, get them motivated to find ways to live again, teach them interventions concerning self-esteem, hope, ways to rethink their negative thoughts, find resources that they may have never known about, and even maybe find them other services they might not have known about to get the help they needed. We do a lot more then that, but we show them what recovery is about through our own experiences.

All to often, when meeting a client, I hear them say" someday I want to be like you". Well, you can never be like me because you aren't me, but you can be similar to me and do what I do. Recovery is possible if you give it a chance.

Happy Blessings!

Mirroring

For many years I liked whoever I was married to or dating liked. If they liked a certain food I liked it. If they liked certain people, I liked them as well. If they were upset, sad, or angry I was as well, same thing with being happy and so on. They cried, I cried, and the list could go on and on. It's called a "mirroring effect." You pick up on the people around you and act or like the things they do.

I had to find a way to break habit as it wasn't me. Eventually I would stop mirroring and start rebelling, which just created problems since the person I was with didn't understand where I was coming from or what was going on. I made it easy to leave or for them to walk away from me. Funny thing is, I noticed that I'm not the only one to do it. People with a mental illness have a tendency to want to please everyone or we run them off. Many of us though for the wrong reasons. We can't keep someone just because we are afraid to be lonely, nor can we simply mirror them to make them happy.

We need to be our own-selves. After all, we matter as individuals. Never stoop to please someone else by giving up your love for various things. Be that individual that you were born to be.

Some ways to stop:

1) never give up on yourself to make someone else happy.

2) just because the other in your life likes something, doesn't mean you have to like it also (unless of course you truly do like it).

3) try doing your own thing once in a while.

4) remind yourself your an individual, separate from your partner.

5) remember what you like and express it so that you never forget it.

6) learn to compromise.

7) look into self-esteem classes or groups

8) tell yourself every day that you are a unique individual

9) try it once and if you don't like it or aren't into it then let your partner know. honesty is the best policy.

10) every week, you and your partner try something new that neither of you have done before.

11) learn to recognize your own TRUE feelings and emotions.

Try a few of these ideas and if you find they work for you, keep trying them, if they don't then learn something new that works for you. After all we can't keep hurting ourselves in this manner. Remember, we are all each unique individuals who deserve a chance at a happy and long life. After all mirroring someone can drain us of our energy and freedoms.

Lori

Taking for granted...

Well it has been over 4 months since I last wrote and I do apologize. My life has been extremely busy, causing me to forget where I started and that is here with my blogs. If it wasn't for my readers on any of my blogs, I wouldn't be where I am today. So thank you world.....

My recovery and peer support is going National. Starting in July I will be traveling to four different states teaching Peer Support training. If you'd like to know more please visit my training website at www.recoverycanhappen.com. Click on training and eduction and follow the link that is appropriate for your area.

This week I am in the middle of a training class and this class has brought the most tears to my eyes then any other class ever has. First I did a WRAP training and at the time, I didn't know it but I has three homeless guys in my class. Low and behold they showed up at my Peer Support training class and all I could think of was "how in the world are these guys going to do the impossible when they can't even help themselves". Well, they sure have surprised me this week! Not only have they gone above and beyond my expectations, but they have taught me something as well; courage and will. Courage to realize that no matter how bad my life gets, it is up to me to keep pushing forward and remember that someone is always worse off then I am. Will to keep moving forward in order to succeed in everything I set out to do.

These three gentleman are the sweetest men that you could ever meet. They showed up each day, did the required work (never asking anyone for anything), and graduated both classes. They all told me that I inspire them and oh boy what a feeling that is. What was even more amazing, was the way the class rallied around them. One guy picked them up for class and drove them home. Two other students made sure they got lunch each day and one guy even made sure one had the ensure that he knew the guy needed. This was truly an amazing class! Thank you all for the lessons learned this week. All I can say is that I truly learned what HOPE is this past eight days.

I will admit that I have been taking my success at what I am accomplishing for granted but after this week, I need to remember that it is my students that make me successful. Without them, I'd be no where. Thank you goes out to my Peer Support class of May 2011.

It's time I start doing my gratitude list again....

1) I am grateful for the people I teach Peer Support to
2) I am grateful for the lessons I learned this week.
3) I am grateful for the terrific support system that I have in place.
4) I am grateful for the opportunities that my mentor Robert has given me.
5) I am grateful for my job as a Peer Support Specialist!

Recovery 101

Your at a crossroad with yourself and you want to be in Recovery, but have no idea how to go about it, yet even start. What do you do? Who do you turn to? Do you go join a group or do you talk to someone about your choices to be in Recovery?

The answer is: you look into yourself to make sure you are ready and you head off on a path that YOU direct. After all, only you know the correct path for You. No one can tell you how to do it, but they can aid you along in your journey.

So now your worried if you start this journey, whether or not you'll relapse. The truth is, you might but then again you might not. You find might the strength with in yourself to stay on your chosen path. However, if you do relapse, don't let it stop you from getting back up and continuing on down your new path. Think of a relapse as a way to move forward and learn from your mistake. Think of relapsing as a teachable moment for yourself. Just find the strength to keep pushing forward.

Some steps to help you while finding your path through recovery. 

• Admit to yourself that there is a problem and seek the help you need. Find someone to talk to, mentor you, join a NA/AA support group, find a peer ran support group, see a therapist or a psychiatrist. You can even talk to a Recovery Coach if you need to and can afford one. Now-a-days there are so many places online even where you can get help. If you go the self-help route though, please remember to stick to it, no matter how much better it feels giving up. 
• Change your thought process. Note that this does take time, so giving up is not the answer here. Instead of always thinking negative, start adding a few positive affirmations on a daily basis. Repeat them to yourself over and over a few times a day and eventually you will notice the negative thoughts slowly going away. Now keep in mind that this doesn't mean you will never have another negative thought, cause we all know thats just not possible in hard times or times of a crisis. So when you get those negative thoughts, work them out and if you can try repeating positive things to yourself. What you want to do is get into the habit of repetitive thinking, positive not negative.
• Find new friends if you need to. You have your friends who will be supportive of you no matter what your dealing with, then you'll have your other friends. The ones that get pissed off at you because your no longer using, drinking, or wanting to be around negative people. These type of people are not your true friends no matter how much you think they are. The people that stick with you, encourage you to do well in your recovery are your true friends. They will stick by you through thick and thin. You relapse, they will help you recover. Sure the hardest thing you might have to do is tell some of your friends to back off so that you can get through this, but if they are a true friend, they will understand. If you need to, go make new friends. Easier said then done, right. However if you join a peer ran support group or join online communities that can pertain to what it is your going through, you'll be surprised at just how many friends you'll make that you can talk to who might just have similar issues to what your going through. I have 2 of the greatest friends (that I met online) in the world now thanks to others reaching out and me grabbing for it. 

That time of year again....

Do the changing of the leaves bother you? The darker skies of winter torment you? Do you get more depressed during the darker months then you do anytime of the year? If so you may suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Appropriately named don't you think so? The reason I ask is because many of us do and have no idea that it is an actually mental issue. I personally suffer from it, but for me it's when the seasons are bright and beautiful with the sun shining and everything bright green.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a form of depression that occurs in relation to the seasons, most commonly beginning in winter.

Symptoms:

• Afternoon slumps with decreased energy and concentration
• Carbohydrate cravings
• Decreased interest in work or other activities
• Depression that starts in fall or winter
• Increased appetite with weight gain
• Increased sleep and excessive daytime sleepiness
• Lack of energy
• Slow, sluggish, lethargic movement
• Social withdrawal

While we can't do anything about the seasons, there are things we can do to keep ourselves aligned and focused. Unfortunately they are pretty much in the same manner as the rest of the treatments for depression that are available to us.

Recovery Plans

Together we can overcome ANYTHING!

One of the biggest parts of a persons recovery is your recovery plan. This shows you what you have done that has worked for you in the past just in case you might relapse.

Your recovery plan should include but is not limited to:

1.  What it looks like to you when your well.
2.  A daily maintenance plan that shows you what you need to do each day to maintain your wellness.
3.  You need to know what your triggers are. What sets you off into a depressive episode or a manic  episode. What makes you want to  over eat, under eat, self mutilate, that drink or that crack pipe?
4.  A list of contacts and their roles in your life so that they can be called upon to help you.
5.  A list of your medications and supplements.
6.  Anything you maybe allergic to that would be of use to the hospital or crisis center. 
7. The numbers to your doctors.
8. Anything else you might find useful to those helping you during your crisis.

All these are very important when it comes to your health and well being. Other options you might choose to do instead of a wellness plan is: 

• Keep a journal
• Write a blog
• Make a video
• Make a wellness CD of music you need to hear
• Record yourself talking about your recovery
• Make a visual board of things that remind you to stay well
• Help someone else

Whatever it is you choose to do, keep in mind that your in charge of your own recovery. No one can tell you that your doing it right or wrong. No one can control your life but you. You deserve this! 

HAPPY RECOVERY!

Relaspe, just bad or is there some good to it?

For many of us, fear of relapsing is the stopper that allows us to recover. We fear we might cut again, take that drink, smoke that cigarette, eat too little or too much, and even fall back into a spiraling depression. According to Psychology Today magazine (July/August 2010) " relapse is like riding a bike, everyone falls once." They also went onto state that "if handled right the right way, relapse can actually open the door to lasting success." The entire article, "The New Quitter" (pages 79-85), is actually pretty interesting. If you can find it online, please take a minute to read it.


 I (personally) normally find magazine articles full of crap, but this one drew my attention right away as it made comments that I've made where myself is concerned. That's what drew me to it. After all, for many, the number one reason for relapse is almost always an emotional this or that that pushes us over-board. If we are to overcome these relapses, we need to find a way to overcome our emotional issues I personally find this correct. By me relapsing into my depression I am able to see clearly what went wrong and there for I am able to help myself correct the issue or find a way to avoid that trigger.

Besides, our illness didn't happen overnight so we shouldn't expect our recovery to happen overnight either. Keep your goals small and you will see bigger results. But don't give up on your goals either! Attend a WRAP class, a Wellness class, DBT, CBT or even a WMR class  and you will soon see results in what your looking for. Bottom line: Don't ever give up on yourself! You're too valuable of a person to be letting a small thing like relapse kill the recovery that you have made.