Recovery 101

Your at a crossroad with yourself and you want to be in Recovery, but have no idea how to go about it, yet even start. What do you do? Who do you turn to? Do you go join a group or do you talk to someone about your choices to be in Recovery?

The answer is: you look into yourself to make sure you are ready and you head off on a path that YOU direct. After all, only you know the correct path for You. No one can tell you how to do it, but they can aid you along in your journey.

So now your worried if you start this journey, whether or not you'll relapse. The truth is, you might but then again you might not. You find might the strength with in yourself to stay on your chosen path. However, if you do relapse, don't let it stop you from getting back up and continuing on down your new path. Think of a relapse as a way to move forward and learn from your mistake. Think of relapsing as a teachable moment for yourself. Just find the strength to keep pushing forward.

Some steps to help you while finding your path through recovery. 

• Admit to yourself that there is a problem and seek the help you need. Find someone to talk to, mentor you, join a NA/AA support group, find a peer ran support group, see a therapist or a psychiatrist. You can even talk to a Recovery Coach if you need to and can afford one. Now-a-days there are so many places online even where you can get help. If you go the self-help route though, please remember to stick to it, no matter how much better it feels giving up. 
• Change your thought process. Note that this does take time, so giving up is not the answer here. Instead of always thinking negative, start adding a few positive affirmations on a daily basis. Repeat them to yourself over and over a few times a day and eventually you will notice the negative thoughts slowly going away. Now keep in mind that this doesn't mean you will never have another negative thought, cause we all know thats just not possible in hard times or times of a crisis. So when you get those negative thoughts, work them out and if you can try repeating positive things to yourself. What you want to do is get into the habit of repetitive thinking, positive not negative.
• Find new friends if you need to. You have your friends who will be supportive of you no matter what your dealing with, then you'll have your other friends. The ones that get pissed off at you because your no longer using, drinking, or wanting to be around negative people. These type of people are not your true friends no matter how much you think they are. The people that stick with you, encourage you to do well in your recovery are your true friends. They will stick by you through thick and thin. You relapse, they will help you recover. Sure the hardest thing you might have to do is tell some of your friends to back off so that you can get through this, but if they are a true friend, they will understand. If you need to, go make new friends. Easier said then done, right. However if you join a peer ran support group or join online communities that can pertain to what it is your going through, you'll be surprised at just how many friends you'll make that you can talk to who might just have similar issues to what your going through. I have 2 of the greatest friends (that I met online) in the world now thanks to others reaching out and me grabbing for it. 

Self Harm. Why we do it and ways to stop.

A lot of people with mental illnesses self harm. We do it to release the pain that is in our minds. As a self harmer I often wonder why it has all of a sudden become a national past time with the younger generation being as once you start, you have an even harder time stopping. Cutting has fallen into the hands of our teenagers and even younger generation. Many do it just because they saw someone else do it so they thought they would try it. Many do it because they are truly in pain and feel they need an outlet and cutting gives them that outlet.

But how do you tell who needs the help and who is just trying to fit in by acting like their friends?

A troubled cutter cuts uncontrollably and deep. Someone who is cutting because their friends do it will make scratches here and there.

Self mutilation has become a such a big new trend not just in America, but around the world. Because many people feel it is just a trend, no one knows how to help people who cut, burn, or harm themselves in other ways. Some families hide it, brush it under the rug. Some throw their kids to the therapist while still ignoring that their child has a problem. So what exactly is the right thing to do to get your loved one the help they need?

Self mutilation is no joke and should be taken very seriously. While we don't intend to kill ourselves, some accidently cut to deep and end up taking their own lives. Where do we draw the line at how to help one another? Do we shove people into therapy, forgetting about their aftercare? Do we walk on egg shells so not to make people harm themselves? Do we tell the person they are stupid for doing it and ignore them? Do we brush it a side and not take a second glance at it? No, we don't do any of these things. Instead we stand up for them and get them the help they need; being there with them every step of the way.

Say hello to Someone you don't know day! Inspiration and Sadness...

****Note. While this is not a consumer of mine I felt it best to get permission from him to publish this on my blog, he agreed to it, but asked that I not use his real name. So I will call him Harry....*****

What an awesome inspiring day I have had. A few weeks ago I posted an event on facebook called "say hello to someone you don't know day". Many of my friends got involved with it and so did many people I don't know. Roughly 50 people said they would do it. So I started my day with a bang!

I chose a corner in downtown Durham where I knew many homeless people hung out due to the fact that there are also just as many business people. So more then likely the homeless hang out there in hopes of making a buck or two, but that's not what I was about today. Today was my day to make someone smile and hopefully feel better about themselves. So off to make someone smile Rev and I went. (BTW, Rev is my 2 year old lab mix).

We sat there saying hello to people, Rev first barking and making them walk away from us but he eventually calmed down and began wagging his tail at people instead. Rev ended up with many head pats. Back to the story.....

People smiled at me after I told them hello and good morning, some even said hello back. However this one guy caught my eye. He had been sitting down the street from us watching me and my pup when he eventually decided to come down and see what I was doing. I told him hello and good morning, he smiled and replied the same way as I said it. He went on to let Rev get to know him before he started petting him. I'll call him Harry (for confidentiality issues). Harry sat down next to me and placed this rumpled and ragged backpack between us. You could tell Harry was homeless or close to it by the way he was dressed, overly baggy clothing, un-kept hair and face, two miss-matched shoes and no socks. Being as we are in NC it is still kind of hot but I still thought nothing of it. Harry and I started talking about what I was doing and was actually intrigued enough to start doing it with me. In between Harry and I saying hello we started talking about our lives. I told him some of my story (leaving out the extra crap I have yet to really open up about) and he started telling me ALL of his. I asked Harry if he minded me asking very personal questions and he responded for me to go right a head. First thing I asked him was how he became homeless.