Say hello to Someone you don't know day! Inspiration and Sadness...

****Note. While this is not a consumer of mine I felt it best to get permission from him to publish this on my blog, he agreed to it, but asked that I not use his real name. So I will call him Harry....*****

What an awesome inspiring day I have had. A few weeks ago I posted an event on facebook called "say hello to someone you don't know day". Many of my friends got involved with it and so did many people I don't know. Roughly 50 people said they would do it. So I started my day with a bang!

I chose a corner in downtown Durham where I knew many homeless people hung out due to the fact that there are also just as many business people. So more then likely the homeless hang out there in hopes of making a buck or two, but that's not what I was about today. Today was my day to make someone smile and hopefully feel better about themselves. So off to make someone smile Rev and I went. (BTW, Rev is my 2 year old lab mix).

We sat there saying hello to people, Rev first barking and making them walk away from us but he eventually calmed down and began wagging his tail at people instead. Rev ended up with many head pats. Back to the story.....

People smiled at me after I told them hello and good morning, some even said hello back. However this one guy caught my eye. He had been sitting down the street from us watching me and my pup when he eventually decided to come down and see what I was doing. I told him hello and good morning, he smiled and replied the same way as I said it. He went on to let Rev get to know him before he started petting him. I'll call him Harry (for confidentiality issues). Harry sat down next to me and placed this rumpled and ragged backpack between us. You could tell Harry was homeless or close to it by the way he was dressed, overly baggy clothing, un-kept hair and face, two miss-matched shoes and no socks. Being as we are in NC it is still kind of hot but I still thought nothing of it. Harry and I started talking about what I was doing and was actually intrigued enough to start doing it with me. In between Harry and I saying hello we started talking about our lives. I told him some of my story (leaving out the extra crap I have yet to really open up about) and he started telling me ALL of his. I asked Harry if he minded me asking very personal questions and he responded for me to go right a head. First thing I asked him was how he became homeless.



Harry opened his bag and took out a bottle of water that you could tell had been refilled many many times and a photo album. Harry handed the album to me and as I looked through it, he shared his bottle of water with Rev, (I thought that was the greatest thing in the world). As I was asking him about the people in the photo album you could see his eyes tearing up. "They are my family," he said. By the way he looked and made that statement, I knew something was wrong with his family. Harry went on to explain that his wife and three children were all gone. He told me that they had been driving along at night and were side swiped by a drunk driver, their car rolled off the road and slammed into a tree, killing all four of the passengers. Harry told me after that his life went down hill.

Harry lost his job at a fortune 500 company (and still had his id badge to prove it), began drinking and doing drugs, became anti-social, and lost his home. All because he refused to get help for his grievance and depression. Harry told me that while it has been almost 5 years now since they passed, he has been homeless now for almost 3 years. I had to hug Harry, his story hurt, not just him, but me as well. Harry accepted my hug.

I asked Harry what his plans for the future are. Harry stated he had no plans and lives day by day. I then asked him what it is that he does each day and he told me he looks for ways to try and make money to support his drinking and drug habit. I asked him if he had any intentions of sobering up and he stated someday he might like to. Harry asked me what I do for a living since he said I sounded like a shrink, I replied, close, and went on to tell him that I am a Peer Support Specialist in Mental Health and Substance Abuse, Harry started laughing. I gave him one of my business cards and told Harry he could contact me day or night if he needed someone to talk to. He acted like I had just handed him a million bucks. I thought that was so cool.

Harry noticed me pondering and wanted to know why I seemed so surprised and when I told him why I was wondering, Harry replied that he has no friends, so there for no one to talk to. Until I came along. At this point Harry and I had been talking about an hour and still saying hello to people as they walked by. Harry told me he had never opened up to anyone the way he did with me.

I bought Harry and myself something to drink and we sat there talking for probably another hour before we parted ways. In all honesty, I was expecting Harry to ask me for money. After all most homeless people are panhandlers. Not once did Harry ask me for money or anything else. I have to say that I learned a lot today.

I learned that not all people want something regardless of their situation. I learned that even the worst happens to the best people. I learned that there are those worse off then me. I learned that I can have compassion for those still using substances and not give them a off the deep end lecture. I learned that people loved the fact I was just sitting there saying hello to them and many of them smiled at me.

The biggest thing I learned is just how big my goals and ambitions are and that sometimes we all need someone else to help us regardless of the places they come from.

Harry left me about 2 hours after our conversation started. We hugged, I told him to keep in touch and call me anytime he needed someone to talk to and he promised he would. Thankfully I know which shelter he is using so that I can go check on him since I know most people with substance abuse issues and heavy mental health issues don't really keep their word, and Harry is someone I definatly want to get to know better.

Harry needs some very intensive treatment and I let him know of a few places he could go to get it, but I want to be there for him as we all need friends. For me, not only did I do what I set out to do with my project, but I met and made friends with a homeless person who I know I will see again someday.

To all the people out there in the world like Harry; I wish you all the best, stay safe, and remember that your an awesome person with great potential!